Growing up, having the last name "Abdulhadi," put me in first for a lot of things. I always had the first seat in assigned seated classes, first in the line to lunch when the bitch first grade teacher lines us up alphabetically, and of course...I was always assigned the first locker at the beginning of each year.
"Oh wow, congrats on getting the first locker each year shit head...what do I care?"
....That is the typical attitude of a bottom locker ditch dweller. I spent my whole pre college life as a top locker alpha. I'd look down to the bottom locker scum in both the literal and figurative sense. I would say things to the clowns like "Hey, while you're on your knees...." or "I hope your first born has teeth as hair..." you know, the typical degrading things you would say to people beneath you.
Bottom locker people are the type of people that probably still raised their hands and asked professors to go to the restroom when they got to college. Actually, bottom locker people probably didn't make it to college. They instead moved into aquariums and ate the fish shit off the bottom of the aquarium because they weren't good enough to eat the actually fish food, which coincidentally tastes and smells a lot like fish shit. They are also the kind of people that probably enjoy USA network originals and laugh at The Big Bang Theory.
Caleb was one of these underground septic tank bottom locker dwellers. Come senior year of high school, enough time has passed to where I have forgiven Caleb for the shit he got me into with Mrs. Goldman, the first grade teacher bitch. First day of senior year, we are getting assigned lockers. I, as the alpha top locker man I am, get assigned locker 624....top locker. As the teacher continues to assign these lockers, he (or she...I don't remember all the details from high school that I am probably making up anyway) she says, "You guys can share a locker if you wish."
That's when I had the brilliant idea that Caleb and I should share a locker. He was so excited. (He hated the idea) He couldn't wait to share a locker with me. (He hated the idea) So I volunteered that Caleb and I would share a locker.
This is when Caleb and I truly tested our best friendshipism. I wanted our locker to be THE hangout. I wanted bells and whistles, while Caleb just wanted a place to keep his books. As any normal couple would do, we compromised. We made our locker THE hangout of Eastside High School. I got to work quickly, finding all the things you would need to make a badass locker be talked about for years and years. First things first....we need music. I found an old intercom speaker and put it in the locker. It took exactly one half of the space. So now we had mine and Caleb's books crammed into one half of a half locker. It was still a penthouse locker, so it was so worth it.
Next, we need decorations. Caleb thought it was a good idea to decorate it with a disco ball....but we had no disco ball....so he began this nasty nasty collection of different color gums that were chewed up and he would mold them into a ball. The really trashy part of his contribution is that he never actually chewed any of this gum himself.....it came exclusively from the bottom of the desks at Eastside highschool. He would sit there in each class and feel for gum underneath his desk. Gross. Caleb was a dirty person, but I didn't argue...I loved his dedication to enhance our penthouse locker lifestyle. This ball got so big, it ended up taking 1/4 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 penthouse locker we shared. That leaves me and Caleb with 3/4 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 penthouse locker for books.
I'm sure Caleb is reading this now pissed off....1 because I am lying about the disco ball of gum...it was actually me. He urged me many times to stop putting used gum in our locker. 2. My books never came out of the locker. We had many of the same classes, so I would just look along with him in class. And I don't think I actually ever took a book home to study. So essentially the 1/4 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 penthouse locker we shared were just MY books. Did I mention that speaker that took up 1/2 of the locker was NEVER hooked up to anything? It was never used. Ever. It stayed there for the entire year.
Caleb gets mad so easily. He got mad that I volunteered we share a locker, and he essentially spent his whole senior year carrying all his books because I was more concerned about my penthouse locker being the talk of the school.
Well fuck Caleb, he made me pull a card in first grade...that smooth legged dick.
In this photo, you can see how Caleb was 80% Vaseline as a kid.
"Oh wow, congrats on getting the first locker each year shit head...what do I care?"
....That is the typical attitude of a bottom locker ditch dweller. I spent my whole pre college life as a top locker alpha. I'd look down to the bottom locker scum in both the literal and figurative sense. I would say things to the clowns like "Hey, while you're on your knees...." or "I hope your first born has teeth as hair..." you know, the typical degrading things you would say to people beneath you.
Bottom locker people are the type of people that probably still raised their hands and asked professors to go to the restroom when they got to college. Actually, bottom locker people probably didn't make it to college. They instead moved into aquariums and ate the fish shit off the bottom of the aquarium because they weren't good enough to eat the actually fish food, which coincidentally tastes and smells a lot like fish shit. They are also the kind of people that probably enjoy USA network originals and laugh at The Big Bang Theory.
Caleb was one of these underground septic tank bottom locker dwellers. Come senior year of high school, enough time has passed to where I have forgiven Caleb for the shit he got me into with Mrs. Goldman, the first grade teacher bitch. First day of senior year, we are getting assigned lockers. I, as the alpha top locker man I am, get assigned locker 624....top locker. As the teacher continues to assign these lockers, he (or she...I don't remember all the details from high school that I am probably making up anyway) she says, "You guys can share a locker if you wish."
That's when I had the brilliant idea that Caleb and I should share a locker. He was so excited. (He hated the idea) He couldn't wait to share a locker with me. (He hated the idea) So I volunteered that Caleb and I would share a locker.
This is when Caleb and I truly tested our best friendshipism. I wanted our locker to be THE hangout. I wanted bells and whistles, while Caleb just wanted a place to keep his books. As any normal couple would do, we compromised. We made our locker THE hangout of Eastside High School. I got to work quickly, finding all the things you would need to make a badass locker be talked about for years and years. First things first....we need music. I found an old intercom speaker and put it in the locker. It took exactly one half of the space. So now we had mine and Caleb's books crammed into one half of a half locker. It was still a penthouse locker, so it was so worth it.
Next, we need decorations. Caleb thought it was a good idea to decorate it with a disco ball....but we had no disco ball....so he began this nasty nasty collection of different color gums that were chewed up and he would mold them into a ball. The really trashy part of his contribution is that he never actually chewed any of this gum himself.....it came exclusively from the bottom of the desks at Eastside highschool. He would sit there in each class and feel for gum underneath his desk. Gross. Caleb was a dirty person, but I didn't argue...I loved his dedication to enhance our penthouse locker lifestyle. This ball got so big, it ended up taking 1/4 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 penthouse locker we shared. That leaves me and Caleb with 3/4 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 penthouse locker for books.
I'm sure Caleb is reading this now pissed off....1 because I am lying about the disco ball of gum...it was actually me. He urged me many times to stop putting used gum in our locker. 2. My books never came out of the locker. We had many of the same classes, so I would just look along with him in class. And I don't think I actually ever took a book home to study. So essentially the 1/4 of the 1/2 of the 1/2 penthouse locker we shared were just MY books. Did I mention that speaker that took up 1/2 of the locker was NEVER hooked up to anything? It was never used. Ever. It stayed there for the entire year.
Caleb gets mad so easily. He got mad that I volunteered we share a locker, and he essentially spent his whole senior year carrying all his books because I was more concerned about my penthouse locker being the talk of the school.
Well fuck Caleb, he made me pull a card in first grade...that smooth legged dick.
In this photo, you can see how Caleb was 80% Vaseline as a kid. 
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